Wednesday, Sept 18
Okay, so I posted my selfie (no makeup) on my blog yesterday, and now I sort of feel bad. Not about the pic, it’s not THAT bad or I wouldn’t have even posted it, although I still think my eyes look small and my eyelashes look, well, non-existent! But…guilty bad. I have to confess: while I honestly (swear up and down) didn’t wear ANY makeup, whatsoever, I mayyyyy have cheated. Just a little bit.
So I’m coming clean! I “cheated” in the following ways:
1) I put lipgloss on (I know, I know, I said I wasn’t going to do it, and I was looking for chapstick, but the lipgloss was RIGHT there!).
2) I took a million (okay, maybe more like 10-12) pictures before getting a good one (or an acceptable one I should say).
3) I (gulp) may have (definitely did) use some “retouch” features from iPhoto, after I (oh the humiliation of confessions) changed the lighting effects (fade color, followed by boost color) to make it more flattering.
Don’t hate me! I’m only human! And terribly self-conscious. And horribly vain. But still, I’m trying to move past those things and become a better person. One that is a) honest, b) humble, c) non-judgemental, d) forgiving, e) less superficial. So those are the things I would like to be, and I hope (humbly) that you (as readers) will try out “d” (as in: forgive me!).
So maybe you thought I was getting somewhere with this whole “no makeup” thing. But I’ve disappointed you (me) by not being completely forthcoming in my gloriously awful self-photo that is about as real as the darned fashion ads that get me so mad! Can I blame it on them? How they’ve brainwashed me through years and years of marketing manipulation and airbrushing? Can I blame iPhoto for making that option available to average nobodies like me, who can recreate how we want to look instead of (settling for) how we naturally look?
Yes. No. Well, maybe. But that’s all beside the point (or is it?). I made a mistake and must make amends. So, here is the pic (no retouches!) for your viewing pleasure (yes, look at it, laugh, mock, smirk how much better you look than me), but don’t think for a second that I’ve changed enough (yet) to take down my photoshopped version from my “About” page. Don’t. Even. Think. About. It.
I’ve suffered enough for one day. Apologies. Reparations. Moving along now to yet another blissful (yea, right) day of exposing my uneven complexion, blotchy-face, freckles, squinty-eyes, and so on and so on and so on. Just don’t think, though, that this means I’m going to stop wearing my oversized sunglasses. I mean, come on, every girl has her limits.
And maybe you think I’m crazy, that maybe my unadulterated picture looks fine, better even, than my photoshopped one. To that I say: “You are crazy!” Or maybe: “Fine! I am crazy!”
And maybe that’s the point of the whole thing anyways. I heard somewhere (from one of the voices in my head, perhaps) that really, truly crazy people don’t know they’re crazy…so if I admit to it, then that makes me, what? Less crazy? Normal? I don’t know, you figure it out and let me know (I’m talking to you! Not the voices in my head (this time)).