Tuesday, Sept 17
It’s been a whole week! And I survived! No cheating. No crying (yet). And though I admittedly have been hiding out a little bit, I’m starting to venture back out in the public world. To prove how far I’ve come in just this first week of my little (big) no makeup experiment (torture), I even took a new picture of myself that I needed to update my profile! And I posted it. Online. For the public (not that I have a big following, but still!).
This is big. I mean, really really big. I would never usually want anyone to SEE me without makeup on, let alone TAKE MY PICTURE without makeup?!? But, I did it!!! And I am even starting to see that, hey, I don’t look THAT bad. I mean, I know I could look better. I wanted to put makeup on. Just a little mascara. Powder. Lip gloss. But, I refrained. Don’t believe me? Check out my About page. It’s there. I promise.
And…I did all this after receiving a certain department store’s flyer which was trying to lure me back into the makeup trap. I admit, I drooled. I oooed. Awwwed. Made a sad pouty face. But resisted the temptations put in front of me by well-paid advertisers who are just counting on my low self-esteem and my foolishness to imagine that their products would make me look like the models in the pictures.
But they don’t tell you that the models in the pictures don’t even look like the models in the pictures. It’s all about as real as the cartoon characters of Jessica Rabbit or Betty Boop. If someone tried to tell you that if you wore this bright red lipstick then you could look just like one of them, would you believe it? Then why do we fall for all this other marketing B.S.?
I’m coming to terms with my appearance, for better and for worse. And what will I decide to do at the end of this long, painstaking month? Would I be a hypocrite if I go back to wearing makeup every day? Will I even want to? Save it for special occasions? Or continue to make a statement by deliberately refraining from all cosmetics?
I’m not sure. I do miss makeup. But I have really enjoyed cuddling up to my little baby girl and not leaving a peach-colored smear on her onesie from my foundation and powder. I’m glad that, when I’m tired (which is always…hello, I’m a mom!) I can actually rub my eyes without making me look like someone just knocked me out and left me with two shiners.
If I forget to wash my face before falling asleep on the couch, then I can drag myself up to bed and not feel guilty. Not feel grossed out that my pillow will have an imprint of my makeup leftover in the morning (not that that’s ever happened, insert blushing emoji here).
I also love that everyone is accepting me for how I look, even my 6-year-old (never misses a beat, always speaks the cold hard truth) hasn’t pointed out all my “ouchies” once during this whole thing! So take that! You big bad department store makeup marketing geniuses (I’m sticking my tongue out at you!).
And God (or whoever you are that listens to me complain every night then ask you for a million things) grant me the patience to make it through the next three weeks without caving. Give me the strength to overcome these insecurities and self-doubts which are so crippling and annoying. And help me continue to blog about it every day no matter how tired I am (and look) and no matter how many kids (three) are nagging me to make dinner already. Hallelujah. Amen. Namaste. Hasta luego. Aimee out.