Tuesday, Sept 10Chicken

Okay, so I’ve chickened out the last two days (my first two day!) and worn makeup. I know, I know, I’m the one who created this challenge for myself, so I’m only disappointing myself. But I seriously wanted to cry all day Sunday, knowing it was to begin the next day. And I just couldn’t do it. I kept telling myself, just one more day…then I’ll start. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s ever said that, right?

But it’s for me. I want to do this for me. In hopes that by the end of the month I will have gotten used to seeing what I look like without makeup and not scowling at what a yucky mess that is staring back at me in the mirror. Or, there are those days when you feel fine, not even realizing you don’t have makeup on until you stumble across a window that reflects your haggard appearance. Seriously, I’m kind of scared to do this. Or a lot scared. Because I know what I will look like, and right now, I don’t like it.

Maybe I’m an addict. I’m totally addicted to wearing makeup. And like other addictions, maybe I need to wean myself off of makeup. Instead of quitting cold turkey, I could start gradually. Maybe I will start by eliminating my eye makeup, since I’m most self-conscious about my complexion right now. If I can go a week with no eye makeup, that would be a start. Then I can quit my foundation and powder and blush.

But if I quit my foundation and powder and blush, can I then swap it out for eye makeup? I mean, can’t I have one or the other, if not all? So next week I will serve up my awful complexion to the world audience (as I see it, I know it’s really only the other local moms at school dropoffs and pickups, and the other moms in the line at Super Target), but then I can accentuate my eyes to distract from the red “ouchies” as my daughter calls them.

She told me once, “Wow mommy, you look amazing. All your ouchies are gone. Makeup is magic.” I love her honesty, and I mean, who can argue? Makeup is kind of like magic, and why would one want to give up a magic trick like that? One that makes you look and feel better. Oh geesh, this is gonna be rough, if I ever even start…


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